A lovesick kayaker wrote to a dating
service explaining that he had specific criteria for a potential mate
and would not accept anyone that doesn't meet his standards. He went on
to explain the young lady must be cute, short, enjoy cold water and
paddling. He received a reply the following week. It contained a picture of a penguin.
Boat attendant: "Come in kayak number 9, your time is up. I repeat: come in kayak number 9, your time is up. Kayak number 9 your time is up. Please come in! For the last time, kayak number 9 will you... ah... kayak number 6, do you need assistance?"